


A Matter Of Difference - Part 1

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 12:51:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16832968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: The course of true love never did run smooth but after saving the line of Durin have you secured your happy ending?





	1. Chapter 1

From the moment you had agreed to the wizards offer of employment, there hadn’t been a day where you hadn’t cursed your decision at least once. As a Ranger, you were used to the rigors of traveling but having thirteen dwarves to contend with, not to mention a Hobbit unused to such conditions and you found your nerves fraying. Sitting huddled in a freezing cold cave as you waited out the raging storm you took the opportunity to once more watch your companions. Thorin was stood at the mouth of the cave, the wind whipping through his hair as he looked majestically off into the middle distance. The corners of your mouth twitched up as you imagined him singing some dramatic music in his head as he stood there. Your gaze then turned to Ori who was busying himself scribbling in that notebook of his. The young dwarf was quiet and shy and as such, you hadn’t had much dealing with him. All in all, you preferred to keep yourself to yourself, best not to get to attached because you never knew when things would head south. At least that had been your plan, unfortunately for you, some of your company had not taken the many hints you had thrown down. “Do you think we will be here long?” The all too familiar voice of Thorin's youngest nephew met your ears as you felt him sit on the floor next to you, a little too close.

“I have no idea. That decision is your Uncles, not mine.” Turning your head away from him you hoped he would give up and bother someone else. 

“As a Ranger though you must have an idea how long this storm will take to pass.” He insisted with a bright smile and you sighed as the realization that you were stuck in this cave and had no escape from this conversation.

“I would say it makes sense to set up camp for the night. That storm isn’t going to abate any time soon but as I said, it’s your Uncles decision.” 

It wasn’t long before Thorin seemed to agree with your assessment and told you all to set up camp. There were some dry branches towards the back of the cave which Bombur and Nori used to set up a fire as the rest of you began to unpack various useful items and prepare for supper. That was the first night you joined the dwarves around the fire instead of sitting in the shadows. You couldn’t say why you broke routine but a few hours later you found yourself laughing heartily at Kili and Bofur’s jokes and listening intently to the tale the hobbit was spinning. So caught up in your companions words you did not notice the pair of brilliant blue eyes which never left you.

He often found his eyes drifting to you but as he saw your face light up when you laughed his heart stuttered and it seemed as if the fluttering in his stomach would lead to whatever was flying around in there bursting out. The firelit flickered across your face and although he had never had the courage to approach you, had never uttered more than three words to you, he longed to sit in your company, to be the one to make you laugh instead of his brother. Feeling his Uncles glare upon him Fili tore his eyes from you reluctantly to meet Thorin's before looking down at his feet. He needed to stop himself before these feelings took hold. There was no way a beautiful ranger like you would even look twice at a dwarf such as him. 

As the days and weeks passed and the days became shorter and the chill in the air became cooler you found yourself thinking of this company almost as family. A fondness for the loud, brash, often ridiculous males had taken hold against your better instincts. A strange friendship had struck up between yourself and the King Under The Mountain as he appreciated he could indeed rely on you, that this job had become about more than just the pay. 

You had been sitting with Thorin and Balin discussing the next leg of the journey when you felt a wave of tiredness sweep over you. Bidding your companions good night you headed to your bedroll. The past few days you had discovered that no matter where you placed your mat you were always flanked by Bilbo and Fili. Not that you minded, neither snored particularly loudly, but you did find it quite odd that the dwarf who couldn’t even meet your eye chose to sleep next to you. Laying down you pulled your blanket up to your chin. Turning onto your side you curl your knees up in an attempt to fight the cold that was creeping in. Your eyes fell on the dwarf asleep next to you and for the first time, you really looked at him. The way his blonde mane fell around him in an unruly fashion made your lips twitch into a soft smile. He looked so peaceful, very unlike the nervous, self-doubting expressions you had become used to seeing on his face. His sleeping form had a sense of confidence, a regal air that his Uncle also had. The way his soft lips parted slightly and the braids of his mustache rose and fell with his breath made your heart beat a little bit faster. Aware that you had been staring, you close your eyes and tried to push the image of the golden-haired prince from your mind. 

The young princes had been up to their usual light-hearted tomfoolery which had caused much amusement amongst the company until their beloved leader had arrived back from wherever he had been brooding. “ENOUGH!” He bellowed causing the pair currently wrestling on the floor to jump to their feet looking rather sheepish. “I expect such behavior from Kili but you Fili, you are heir to the throne. Such behavior is not becoming of the future king.” Fili’s shoulders slumped as he mumbled an apology in unison with his brother and a quiet settled around the fire. Getting to your feet you looked calmly across the circle at Thorin. 

“You are too harsh on him.” The words have the dwarf’s icy blue eyes meeting yours, a flicker of surprise before the steal returned. “Fili is all too aware of the pressure of the crown and he carries that responsibility admirably. Perhaps you could learn a little from your nephews and perhaps crack a smile every now and then. A little levity, merriment, it prevents you from being crushed under the weight of duty.” You stared right back at him unwavering and you felt the eyes of several of your company on you and their king. You prepared yourself for his wrath, you could tell your words had struck a chord.

“Y/N will take first watch tonight.” Was all he said gruffly before stalking off again. A collective sigh of relief sounded in the clearing and you puffed out your cheeks as you let out a deep breath. That possibly was not the best course of action. Your eyes met Fili’s and you smiled sadly at him. His eyes twinkled as he mouthed ‘thank you’ and you could feel your cheeks heat. Turning away you busied yourself with your pack thinking yourself lucky to get away with only having night watch.


	2. A Matter of Difference - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The course of true love never did run smooth but after saving the line of Durin have you secured your happy ending?

Pulling your hood up against the chill your eyes darted about the darkness. Night watch didn’t really bother you and after what you had said to Thorin he was letting you off pretty lightly. The camp behind you was still, quiet except the snoring of your companions. You could feel Thorin wandering towards you from behind and you steadied yourself for the oncoming lecture. Maybe you hadn’t got off lightly after all. He stood beside the rock you were seated on and looked out into the woods. A silence enveloped the pair of you until eventually, you spoke. “I am sorry for the manner in which I spoke earlier but not the content.” You state matter-of-factly.

“You would comment on my relationship with my nephews?” His voice was sharp and you continued to look out into the darkness rather than meet those steely eyes. 

“Thorin, you know I speak plainly with you. You are a good and noble leader and I understand that this quest ways heavy on you…” 

“You understand nothing.” He cuts you off with such certainty and you see his shoulders sag beside you causing you to turn towards the stubborn dwarf.

“I can see that each day we get closer to our journey’s end the weight of responsibility weighs heavier on you. Everyone needs moments of levity to break the tension.” Your attempt to reassure him a little, perhaps get him to lighten up occasionally only seemed to anger him.

“Do not presume to tell me how to interact with my family or my company.” His glare could have leveled even the strongest foe and you struggled to hold his gaze.

“I am not.” you sigh with frustration. “We both know that you will do whatever you want to, I was simply expressing my own opinion.”

“You feel I am too harsh and yet you do not understand the responsibility of ruling.” His voice was once quieter and he looked so much older than when you had first met. This quest was taking its toll on him and you wanted to reassure him that he wasn’t alone.

“You are right, but there is a difference between making sure Fili understands the responsibility and making it appear a burden. You have trained him so well Thorin, he will rise to the challenge when it is his. You are a good leader, that is why we are all here. We believe in you.” His glacial blue eyes met yours and he appeared to soften slightly.

“I will take your words under consideration but I promise nothing.” He nodded to you and walked away leaving you to the bitter night air and the not so gentle snoring of the company.

“You harm so much as a hair on his head and I will break your pretty little neck elf.” You growled as the tall, blond elf shoved Fili into a cell.

“And why are you so protective of this dwarf?” He smirked at you as his companion roughly pushed you between the bars and slammed the door.

“Well, for one, he has better hair than you.” Smiling sweetly through the bars at your captor he looks back at you with disgust before turning his attention to the cell next to you. Glaring at any elf that passes your way you finally settle a little when the majority of them leave, only two guards sitting a little way apart from your cell. Turning to look at your prison you quickly begin to assess it for weak spots or anything that could aid in an escape. Fili, Gloin, and Dori were sitting on the floor watching you move around the space, running your hands over the walls. With a sigh you slid your back down the wall, coming to sit on the floor with a small thump. You were brought out of your thoughts by a soft voice.

“You like my hair?” Looking up you saw Fili watching you curiously and you smile in spite of yourself. This must be the most the golden-haired prince had ever said to you.

“I prefer it to that elf.” You joke and he smiles sadly, looking down. A flicker of disappointment crossed his face and you instantly feel bad. Leaning forward you softly assured him. “Yes, Fili. I do like your hair.” His eyes shot up to meet yours and his smile mirrored your own.

“You have very beautiful hair.” He murmured nervously.

“Complimenting a Ranger? Is that proper behavior for a future king?” you declare in a deep voice, mimicking his uncle. A roar of laughter erupted from Dori and Gloin clapped his hands in amusement.

“That’s an uncanny likeness you got there lass.” He smirked and you bowed your head before grinning at Fili.

“Thank you, for your kind words.” You wanted to keep the conversation going but your mind stalled for further words.

“You… you’re very welcome.” Fili was also experiencing the same problem, mentally kicking himself for not being able to find a way to continue the discussion. He couldn’t keep grinning at you like a mindless fool, his hand went up to rub the back of his neck, scrambling for anything to say. A sound outside your bars caught your attention and you saw Thorin being ‘escorted’ to his very own cell. Fili jumped to his feet and rushed to see his uncle only for the elf escorting Thorin to rap a stick on the bars, hitting the dwarf’s fingers. You saw Fili’s shoulders stiffen and you rose to stand behind him, your hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, I am going to enjoy cutting off each and every one of those lovely fingers of yours for that.” Your smile was sweet but your tone was laced with razors. The corners of Fili’s mouth twitched up. He wondered if you were so protective of the rest of the company or… no, he couldn’t think like that. He would just focus on the task at hand and currently, that was trying to find a way out of here. Focusing, however, was difficult when you were standing so close, your hand was still on his shoulder and he felt almost like he couldn’t breathe. Kili was the one who was good with the ladies, the soul of a romantic with a way with words. Knives were more Fili’s thing but you had already seen all his tricks and he was without his weapons. “Let me have a look.” Your voice brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up at you, his brow furrowed with confusion. Crouching down you took hold of his hand and ran your fingers over his before doing the same with his other hand as you assess what, if any, damage the thoughtless elf had done. There was a slight redness and a hint of bruising to his left hand and your fingertips lingered on his a little. With a smile, you look up into those hypnotic blue eyes and smiled. “I think you’ll live. Maybe you should get some rest, come sit, I shall ask Dori to tell us a tale. We will be much more likely to reach a solution to our current situation without the added hindrance of exhaustion.” Standing, his hand still in yours, you led him back to the other two dwarves and took up position once more on the floor. Dori acquiesced to your request of a tale and soon his voice had lulled you to the edge of sleep. As you relaxed you found yourself leaning against the golden-haired dwarf next to you and soon his head was resting against yours. 

Bards house was fairly crowded and the noise of the company filled every corner. “Fili, there’s a place here.” You call as you see him looking around for somewhere to sit. He smiled shyly before making his way over and taking a place on the floor next to you. Kili watched you both from across the room with interest. He had noticed his big brother had taken quite an interest in you since you had first met at Bilbo’s, had even teased him a time or two but once he realised that his feelings ran deeper than just a passing appreciation he encouraged him to actually talk to you. Kili was actually the one responsible for Fili finding his bedroll next to yours every night, something which he was incredibly pleased with himself for. He didn’t know exactly what had happened in Mirkwood, although Gloin and Dori had given him a few details, but at least Fili could say more than three words to you now without making a hasty retreat. Kili smiled knowingly at his brother as their eyes met across the room and Fili frowned at him so he began to make kissy faces. You look over and raise an eyebrow. “Why is Kili blowing kisses at you?” Fee turns to you, his eyes a little wider as he wonders how he could possibly explain his annoying little brother’s actions. “Or is it aimed at me?” you smirk before turning back to Kili and blowing him a kiss. A laugh escapes your mouth as his cheeks flush and he looks around a little awkwardly. Leaning down to Fili your eyes twinkled with mischief. “Oh, so he can give it out but not take a little teasing? I expected so much more from the prince of pranks.”

“I think you may have caught him unaware.” Fili returned with a smirk. He was a little in awe of you, even when you were on the receiving end of one of his brother's pranks you laughed it off and ensured you paid him back tenfold. The quest was almost at an end. The lonely mountain was in sight and soon you would depart, you had no reason to stay. That thought hurt his heart. That mountain held mixed emotions for the young dwarf but how could he ask you to stay? He should be grateful that you had become his friend, that he knew you at all. He could cling onto the beautiful memory of your time together and that would have to be enough. His smile had faded as his thoughts clouded his face. Seeing the sudden change in him you reach out and take his hand, assuming that his mind had wandered towards what was awaiting you all in that mountain. “Whatever happens Fee, I’ll be right there with you.” Your heart is pounding and willing you to say so much more but your head stops you. This is a job, there is no place for you here once it is over.


	3. A Matter of Difference - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The course of true love never did run smooth but after saving the line of Durin have you secured your happy ending?

Sitting by the secret door you waited anxiously for Bilbo's return. One ear on the passage, listening for the padding of the hobbit's feet your eyes roamed over the company, all equally uneasy. Thorin was once again staring off into the middle distance as while Kili was pacing. Bofur was fiddling with his pack much to Dwalins irritation and Ori was flicking through his notebook. Your eyes met Fili’s and you felt your heart begin to pound. You wished you could reassure him, make him smile if only for a moment. He glanced across at his uncle before making his way over to lean on the wall next to where you sat. Hesitantly he placed his hand on your shoulder and you leaned your head against it. Placing your hand over his, your thumb running over his knuckles as you turn your head and smile sadly at your prince. He opened his mouth to say something but the telltale sound of hobbit feet running up the passage had everyone on their feet, awaiting news of the dragon.

As it turned out, the dragon was the least of your problems. Watching Thorin pacing back and forth over his gold you frowned. He was definitely not himself and hadn’t been since you had taken back the mountain. His thoughts were consumed by that damned stone and he refused to listen to reason. Seeing how much this change affected Fili and Kili broke your heart. How long had they all fought for the dream of returning home, and how painful the reality of realizing that dream? Fili had tried to talk to him, as had all of you, but the sickness had a firm hold. You approached your one-time friend warily, mindful of how bad his temper could be. “Would you not like to join us for something to eat? Or maybe rest for a while?” 

“Can you not see I am busy?” he snapped, glaring at you with clouded eyes.

“We have all searched Thorin…” you began only to have him stalk towards you with his hand on the hilt of his sword. 

“Then someone has taken it for themselves.” His eyes narrowed and you shifted your weight, attempting to anticipate his next move.

“The company is loyal, who would do such a thing? It will be here somewhere, take a little rest and then we will all come and help.” You attempt to reason with him fell on deaf ears.

“You are not a member of my company.” He growled menacingly. “You are a mercenary, the most likely to have taken it.” Before you could react, his sword was unsheathed and pointed at you. Endeavoring to back away your footing stumbled on the shifting gold and you hit the ground hard. Thorin took the advantage and as he began to move his blade to your throat another blocked it. Fili moved to stand in front of you glaring at his uncle as Balin helped you to your feet.

“You are weak and sentimental nephew. I fear for Erebor with you as its future king.” He spat, pressing his weapon against Fili’s as he refused to back down.

“Put your sword away uncle. It is not needed here.” Fili’s voice was as hard as rock and you couldn’t help but admire the steal in his glare. Thorin looked over Fili’s shoulder and saw the rest of the company watching. 

“I will find it on my own.” He growled as he lowered his blade, sheathing it. Turning on his heel he stalked away, his eyes lowered, searching once more. Turning to you with such concern in his eye the blond prince raised his hand and brushed your hair away from your face.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, a complete contrast from his exchange with Thorin. You nodded briefly, your eyes trailing over to the retreating figure of the king under the mountain. 

“He didn’t mean it you know.” Extending your arm you lightly stroke his arm causing Kili to raise his eyebrow and grin at his brother who lowered his head to avoid you seeing the flush of his cheeks. 

“Come on lass, let get something to eat. There’s nothing more we can do here right now.” Gloin took your arm and led you out of the cavernous room.

How quickly war was upon you all. You had left the company along with Bilbo to protect the hobbit and had been thrust into the middle of a battle. Your heart leaped when you heard that they had opened the gates and were joining the fray. Taking a moment, you looked towards the mountain and saw Thorin and the Princes riding away from the battle. You frowned wondering where they were going, what did they know? “There is another army approaching from the North.” You heard Gandalf’s words and your eyes grew wide. Surely they didn’t think they could face a whole army alone. They were heading straight into a trap. Mounting a horse, you set off after them, willing to protect them, him, at any cost.

“Stay here, search the lower levels. I’ve got this.” Fili ordered his brother as he looked into the ominous corridor.

“FILI! KILI!” You call out, running towards them and skidding to a halt in the snow.

“Emma, what are you doing here?” Kili exchanged a look with his brother before turning his attention back to you.

“I have not followed you this far to watch you stride headlong into a trap.” You gather your breath as Fili looks at you sternly with a raised eyebrow.

“Uncle said…”

“I don’t care what he said!” The forcefulness in your voice took him a back for a moment before he shook his head in frustration. “There is an army approaching from the North. If there is someone waiting up there intent on an ambush you can bet they are not alone, take a look at that corridor Fee, take a good look. There’s not enough room to swing a cat let alone a weapon. If you want to go that way then you’re gonna have to go through me first.” Staring down at him you prepared for the argument with the stubborn dwarf and was surprised to hear a short laugh coming from Kili.

“Come, brother, let us go and share this news with Uncle. That is if our bodyguard is agreeable.” A brief smile of thanks crossed your face and your shoulders slumped a little with relief. You did not know why, but there was something about that corridor that troubled you. Nodding at the brothers you watched them head off to find Thorin.

You had been battling orcs for what seemed like hours. Tauriel had joined you and together you made an effective team. Your hair was stuck to you with sweat and you could already feel the familiar burning in your muscles, knowing that should you see tomorrow you would definitely be stiff at least. You had lost sight of the Princes and as you dispatched yet another foul creature back to whatever hell it had crawled from the sound of a familiar cry was carried to your ears on the wind. Tauriels wide eyes met yours and as Kili’s name fell from her lips and you both turned towards the sound and ran to his aid.

The three Durins were working together to bring Azog down and as you ran down towards them Kili flew through the air just past you, having caught the edge of a mighty blow. Fili’s eye flickered to his brother for only a moment but that was long enough for the Pale Orc to plunge in an attempt to grab him. Raising your sword you screamed with rage as you drove your blade into his shoulder blade causing him to turn with a snarl but at least with him focused on you Fili was out of immediate danger. Your sword was lodged into his flesh leaving you without a weapon. You heard Thorin call your name and you reach out to catch the axe he had thrown, arcing round to swing it at the behemoth before you. He parried your defenses easily, mockingly with a leer. Stalking towards you he ignored the attacks from the others as he backed you up. Too late you realised he was cornering you but you saw Thorin had a plan, you just needed to keep this monster focused on you for a little longer and… “NOOOOOOO!” you heard the scream as the blade pierced you through your abdomen. Your eyes wide you looked up in time to see the King Under the Mountain sink his blade into your enemies skull before everything faded to black.


	4. A Matter of Difference - Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The course of true love never did run smooth but after saving the line of Durin have you secured your happy ending?

Tauriel was tending to Kili when Fili’s cry rang through the air causing them both to look over and see you fall. At once the elf was on her feet running towards the scene. For Fili, it had felt as if everything had gone into slow motion. He could see your blade up to defend yourself as Azog sank a knife blade deep into you. He was sprinting to your side, not caring if he was putting himself in danger, he had to get to you. Laying on the cold ground, your eyes closed, the hilt of the knife sticking out of your abdomen he wrapped you in his arms, tears streaming down his face as he whispered over and over into your hair, “No, no, no, no, no,” Your body was limp in his embrace and it was only when Thorin tried to pull him away did he look up. Tauriel was knelt over you, examining the wound. 

“We need to get her to Thranduil, and quickly. She is still with us but barely.” Standing she lifted you into her arms and began to carry your body over to the horse that you had ridden up there. Placing you on the horse she mounted behind you and set off at great speed towards someone who may be able to help. Fili stood in the snow staring at the horse as it headed off into the distance. A hand rested on his shoulder and he turned his head to lock eyes with his uncle.

“There is much to be said for the magic of the elves nephew. Let us return and tend to our wounded. They helped Kili to his feet and allowing him to rest his weight between them made their way back to the mountain. 

It felt like every muscle in your body was on fire, ripping you from the peace of unconsciousness. Through the pain, you could hear voices and so you decided to concentrate on what they were saying rather than the agony you were in.

“What do you mean there is nothing more you can do?” the sharp and familiar tone of Thorin Oakenshield met your ears and you could just picture his face, all indignance, and anger.

“Your pet ranger is alive, at least for now.” you recognised the smooth tone but failed to place it but before you could begin to consider whose voice it was a much more familiar one caused your heart to jump.

“Please.” Fili was begging, his voice desperate. “I will give you anything in my power, just save her.” There was a scoffing sound before the smooth voice spoke again.

“You believe I am holding back?” He sounded irritated.

“It would not be the first time elf.” The gruff tones of the king told you exactly who he was speaking with. That damned elf king.

“I did not need to help at all.” The haughty tone to his voice allowed you to picture him as you had last seen him, sitting smugly on his throne. 

“Because it is in your nature to just stand back and not get involved.” Rage trembled through Thorin's words and you could tell this argument was going to be a long one as their voices began to rise.

“STOP!” That was Oin, you would recognise that voice anywhere. “If you are not here to help then get out. I have enough to do without refereeing an argument with you lot.”

The room became quiet and the sound of general grumbling and shuffling of feet seemed to indicate the conversation was over. “Oh, not you. I’m not about to kick you out, am I? Go sit down lad, I think having you here comforts her.” You felt a warm, calloused hand take yours, gripping it tightly before raising it and the sensation of soft lips being pressed against your skin. “The elf did a good job, now let’s see what dwarf medicine can do.” With those words ringing in your ears you once more sank into a deep sleep.

Rebuilding Erebor was no easy task. Every day more dwarves were flooding into the mountain and the place was buzzing with activity as rooms were cleared and the forges were once again fired up. There were still areas where the stench of dragon lingered but through the layers of grime and decay there were glimpses of the once beautiful kingdom and you could imagine what it was and what it could be again. It had taken several weeks for you to be well enough to begin to explore, trusting your ranger instincts to ensure you didn’t get lost in the many winding corridors and endless staircases. You enjoyed the peacefulness as you wandered alone with a torch. The scar across your stomach was a daily reminder just how close you had come to shuffling off this mortal coil and the quiet of the halls allowed you the space to contemplate where your future truly lay. When you had woke from your sleep on the makeshift hospital bed you had been surprised to see Thorin sitting beside you, his hand over yours. Fili hadn’t been to visit you once as you healed and his absence hurt more than the wound. It was time to make a decision.

“Y/N!” Thorin's voice boomed down the corridor behind you and you turned to see him marching towards you.

“King Under The Mountain.” Nodding your head in greeting as he walked right past you.

“Walk with me.” You laugh to yourself as you could tell it was an order rather than a request and swiftly catch up to him, falling into step as you stride down the hallway.

“And what can I do for you today Sire?” He looked up at you with a twinkle of amusement in his eye, reminded of your teasing during your time together on your quest to reclaim Erebor.

“Well, now you are The Protector of the Line of Durin I was wondering what your intentions were.” Facing forward a sly smile on his face, taking delight in knowing his words made you roll your eyes.

“Is that my official title now? What perks does it come with?” you shot back just as you had when times were somewhat simpler.

“That depends on your intentions. I was hoping you might consider staying. There are many here who are very fond of you.” His thoughts turned to his nephew and he frowned slightly. Yes, there were some who were more than fond of you.

“I am very fond of you too Thorin.” He stopped in surprise at your words and then a panic took hold and he became flustered.

“I was not… I mean I am but…” Stumbling over his words, he had not wished to give you the wrong impression but his anxiety vanished as soon as he saw the bright grin on your face as you tried to stop yourself laughing.

“Relax, I know what you meant. So…” you tried to change the course of the conversation. “…now I have saved the royal line you guys had better get moving on creating a few more of you. Kili is getting married, maybe you should look into finding yourself a queen.” This caused him to raise his eyebrows in amusement.

“I could say the same to you. Maybe you should find your One.” Thorin noticed a shadow pass behind your eyes for a brief moment and he wondered if he had perhaps hit upon something he could use to get you to stay.

“I am a lone wolf Thorin.” The dramatic tone to your voice brought a smile to his face knowing how much you had grown to enjoy socializing with the company.

“I would see you happy.” He placed a hand on your arm and you tilted your head, your brow creased with a small frown of confusion.

“Who says I’m not?” His azure eyes met your own and for a moment you felt he was looking deep into your soul, laying all your secrets bare. It was an unsettling feeling. “Look, maybe I have found my ‘one’ but it isn’t to be.” The tone of your voice was light and you shrugged as if it was nothing.

“If they are truly your One then you will both find a way.” The earnestness in your friends' voice surprised you and a deep sigh escaped your lungs.

“There are greater forces at work Thorin, not ones which can be overcome. He has responsibilities which must come first. He needs to continue his bloodline and however ‘fond’ you may think your people are of me they would not have me as queen.” Thorin’s eyes widened with shock. Surely you couldn’t mean him? You had never shown the slightest romantic interest in him and… he turned back into your words as he realised you had continued talking. “Fili is heir to the throne and his match needs to be accepted by his people.”

“You love Fili?” It was almost a laugh of relief and then he saw how his reaction had hurt you. You stood a little straighter and avoided his gaze, your tone suddenly more official than friendly.

“I am glad you have reclaimed your mountain and I am happy that you are all safe and well. I wish you health and happiness and I thank you for your offer of a place in your kingdom…”

“But you are going to leave.” A silence fell between you as Thorin rubbed the back of his neck, wanting to urge you to reconsider.

“I can’t stay.” It was no more than a whisper and yet it felt so loud in the quiet of the corridor.

“I will give some thought to this matter. When are you intending to go?” His mind was racing, surely there was something that could be done. You were a good friend and you had risked your life for him and his people several times over. There must be some resolution to this issue, some way in which you would feel comfortable staying.

“I was planning on departing the day after the ball. There will be many eligible darrows hoping to catch your nephew's eye. He will find a good match.” Your heart sank at the thought of Fili dancing with a beautiful dwarf maiden, one of whom would capture his heart. Once more the dwarf's hand settled on your arm and you looked at him with such sadness he frowned.

“Do not leave before we have discussed this matter further. Promise me.” His words and tone were soft, in total opposition to the stern look on his face and you nodded.

“I can’t see how you could change my mind but I promise I will speak to you before I go.” Dwalin appeared, hurrying towards you and just like that Thorin snapped back into King mode, ready to deal with whatever issue had come to light. Leaving the dwarves to their business you bid them both farewell and continued on your way down the hall, Thorin only half listening to the elderly dwarf as he watched you go.

“Fili! I have been looking everywhere for you! Come with me!”

“What’s happened?”

“Come on!”

Kili sprinted off down the halls with Fili hot on his tail. Turning down some corridors which were widely unused, past rooms yet to be cleared the sound of a harp being played softly infused the air causing Fili to stop abruptly, mesmerized by the sweet music. Realising his brother had ceased Kili turned and ran back to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him on only to slide to a halt outside a large wooden door slightly ajar. Fili looked at his younger brother questioningly. “It’s y/n!” Kili whispered excitedly pointing to the gap in the door. Furrowing his brow Fili moved closer and looked through the gap, his mouth opening slightly as he saw you sitting with Tauriel, plucking the harp, gently filling the air with a heartbreaking melody. He had no idea how long he had stood there, enraptured by your playing, holding his breath. He was reminded of the times sitting around the fire on your quest to this very mountain and how beautiful you looked when the firelight played over your soft skin. Feelings he had been trying hard to suppress began to rise to the surface once more and he mentally chided himself, you would never feel that way about him. The sound of Tauriel speaking brought him back to the moment but he couldn’t pull himself away from the door, wanting nothing more than to listen to your voice. It seemed many weeks since you had last spoken to him and his heart raced as he stood, captivated by you.

“I wish you would play at our wedding.” Tauriel was smiling at you as the song ended and your fingers stilled.

“I don’t do public performances, the only reason you know I play is because you discovered me when I thought I had found the perfect hiding place.” You laughed. The day she had danced into the room you had fiercely searched for. It had taken her quite a while to convince you to continue playing. It wasn’t that you weren’t good, it was that your music was private, just for you. It was the outlet for your emotions and you really needed that these days.

“You should tell him.” Her voice was soft but her eyes were stern. It was a conversation you had been having for the past few weeks, her ability to see through your melodies was unnerving.

“No. No, that is never going to happen.” You shake your head emphatically.

“Why? You might be surprised by the result.” She teased as if she knew something you didn’t. You smiled sadly at your friend and looked away, not wanting to meet her eye.

“If I tell him it doesn’t matter what his response, it can never be Tauriel. At least my way there is only me hurt. If he did, by some miraculous twist of fate, return my affections then it would only end in heartache and I would not cause him a second of pain for the world.” A quiet settled between you for a moment while your friend tried to think of another angle to approach the situation from.

“Thorin has accepted Kili and I. I’m sure he would…” Tauriel began only to be cut off by your frustrated tone.

“Of the three of them, Kili is the only one who has even the remotest luxury when it comes to finding his match. Eventually, at some point in the distant future, after much grumbling and complaining, there is a chance that they will grudgingly accept one of Durins line in an interracial pairing but two? There would be an uproar. It would be a watering down of the bloodline and they would NEVER accept a non-dwarven queen. He has a duty and I would not be the one to make him choose between me and his kingdom. He will meet a lovely, suitable dwarrow and they will be married and have beautiful little babies ensuring the line continues and he will be happy. I would be a complication he doesn’t need and that is why I must go.” Fili’s chest constricted and he felt as if all the air had been punched out of him. She was leaving? She couldn’t leave.

“Go?” he whispered, looking at Kili, his eyes desperate only to be met with equal amounts of surprise and concern on his brother’s face.

“After the ball, I am heading to Rivendell, maybe go visit Bilbo. I was a wanderer before, I can be again.” You shrug as if even the thought of leaving Erebor, never setting eyes on the beautiful, blond haired, blue-eyed prince was not causing you palpitations and your heart to break.


	5. A Matter of Difference - Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The course of true love never did run smooth but after saving the line of Durin have you secured your happy ending?

“Uncle, I must speak with you.” Fili stormed into the council meeting, ignoring the glares he received from those present. Thorin raised his eyebrows at his nephew and sat back in his chair as the prince strode towards him.

“I think a break may be in order. We will reconvene after dinner.” Slowly the various members of the council shuffled out, each one grumbling a little as is often the way with dwarves. Turning to Fili, Thorin indicated the chair nearest him. “Sit and speak your mind Fili. It must be something of great importance to have you worked up so.”

“You can’t let her leave.” His voice was filled with as much despair as his eyes. He didn’t know what to do. From what he had overheard of your conversation with Tauriel he had pieced things together and come to the conclusion that you were in love with his Uncle and although that broke his heart he simply could not take the thought of never seeing you again. Thorin's shoulders dipped and a sad smile graced his face.

“I see you have heard. I take it she didn’t tell you herself? I was hoping to talk her out of such drastic action but…” he sighed and looked sadly at his nephew. 

“Why don’t you just ask her? She loves you Uncle, and you are the king. She will make an excellent Queen, just… please don’t let her leave.” Fili was wringing his hands, his head down as Thorin’s eyebrows raised in surprise at his words.

“I believe you are mistaken in where her affections lie.” Thorin words are slow as he squints at his nephew.

“I heard her.” the blond dwarf finally sank into a chair in defeat running a hand down over his face.

“She said my name?” his uncle's voice was soft causing Fili to replay the conversation he had overheard through his mind.

“Well, no. She was talking to Tauriel and… she said she would never be accepted as Queen and…” his brow was furrowed as he tried to make sense of things.

“Fili.” Thorin stood and placed a hand on his nephew's shoulder. “I am not the only one who may one day stand beside a Queen. Now I must urge you to go prepare for the ball. Punctuality is the politeness of kings.” And with that, he strode from the room leaving Fili frozen in his seat.

The main hall was illuminated by more torches than you had ever seen in your life. There were beautiful, sparkling lights floating close to the high vaulted ceilings and you were certain that little touch had something to do with Gandalf. There were long tables elegantly dressed dotted around the room and a vast empty space for dancing in the centre. At one end of the hall was a table laden with all sorts of sweet, succulent treats and a smile broke across your face when you noticed several of the company already there with plates piled high. The opposite end of the room, where you were avoiding looking, was a table with ornate chairs upon which sat Thorin and his family. You knew the King had his azure eyes on you over the crowd as you sauntered over to Bofur who was seated at a nearby table tucking into the food he had already managed to claim. Your eyes scanned the crowd which was full of beautiful, eligible dwarf maidens and their pushy mothers hoping to snag them a prince. The pit in your stomach grew with the realisation that one of them probably would. “Hey lass, you not taking advantage of the food?” Bombur enquired as he sat opposite you and as if from nowhere a flagon of ale appeared before you. 

Fili had been watching the door all evening nervously. He had never really considered that you might feel the same way for him but from what his uncle had said had his mind reeling. If only he could talk to you, beg you not to leave, tell you how he feels. His mother was introducing him to a myriad of young women who giggled or attempted to look at him seductively much to his brother's amusement. As soon as you entered the room his eyes were drawn to you. Frustrated that you had chosen to sit at the opposite end of the room he desperately tried to think of a way of excusing himself without incurring his mother wrath. Unable to come up with a suitable reason he sat just watching you laughing with the others and enjoying your evening. Although he couldn’t actually hear your laughter he felt it ringing in his head, reminding him of all those nights around the campfire when he had been too afraid to speak to you. Thorin followed his nephew's gaze and smiled softly. The course of true love never did run smooth.

You had already resigned yourself to the fact that this would be your final evening here at Erebor and so decided to treat this night as a celebration of the friendships you had made. You spent the evening discussing food with Bombur and axes vs swords with Dwalin, trading humorous tales with Bofur which led to Oin and Gloin reminiscing over the many times Oin mishearing something led to hysterical consequences. Ori shared some of the secrets of his notebook which included intricate drawings of various flora and you even exchanged amiable nods with Bifur. Several hours later, your face aching with all the laughter, you found yourself sitting between Dori and Nori who were waxing lyrical about the importance of family. “It’s much more than blood Miss,” Nori was saying. “Family are the people you would do anything for. I mean, look at Kili and Fili. Yes I know they are family by blood but look how they interact.” You tilted your head towards the top table but refused to actually look at the brothers. The reminder of the blonde haired, blue eyed, gorgeous prince made your heart hurt. “Then watch Kili and Tauriel,” he continued and the mention of your friend brought a sad smile to your face. You would truly miss each and every one of them and knowing you were leaving without saying goodbye had a wave of guilt washed over you. Balin had been watching you and frowned, there was obviously something on your mind and he waited until you made your way to the food table to question you. 

“Lass, what is causing you so much anguish that you are trying to hide behind that smile of yours?” His voice was low so that those around you wouldn’t hear and you turned to look at the elderly dwarf somewhat surprised. You had really thought you had everyone fooled but maybe you were an open book and everyone knew.

“I think it may be time I move on.” you shrug with a sad smile. “We have done what we set out to do and there’s a world of adventure waiting out there.”

“We will be sorry to see you go. I hope you will at least visit often with tales of your journeys. You will always have a place here with us lass.” He patted your arm and you felt tears spring to your eyes. This was exactly why you didn’t want to tell anyone. You knew you had promised Thorin that you would speak to him before you left but you knew there was nothing he could say to change your mind. Suddenly not in the mood to socialise you bid goodnight to your friend, informing him with a smile that you were tired and would see him in the morning before turning and heading out of the hall.

As he watched your retreating form his body went rigid and a myriad of emotions flitted across his face. When he noticed his brother slip from the room his brow furrowed and he was so focused on the door that he did not notice his Uncle take the seat next to him. “Fili, the best king is a happy king. If she makes you happy, if she is your one, then go and tell her before you run out of chances.” Thoring patted him on the shoulder before standing and intercepting his sister who was approaching with yet another ‘suitable’ match for her eldest son.

You had been heading to your room when Kili had accosted you. “I know you are leaving and I know that you love my brother.” His words caused you to pause before turning to look at him curiously. 

“And what exactly is it that you know Kili?” your arms fold across your chest as you watch him move closer.

“I know more than you.” he shrugged before continuing. “The thing about your one is that you only ever get, well, one. It doesn’t matter if you leave, he will never choose another because you are his one. It’s like asking me to be with anyone other than Tauriel.”

“What do you mean?” your voice barely audible as you stare at the dwarf trying to make sense of his words. You open your mouth to ask again when…

“He’s right. Please stay.” You froze as the soft voice met your ears, your eyes wide as you looked at Kili who just smiled knowingly before leaning to look behind you.

“Hello brother. I believe I shall leave you to it.” He smirked at you and then turned on his heels and practically scampered away.

“Kili not getting involved? That must be a first. Perhaps we should mark it on the calendar to be celebrated annually.” You shrug in an attempt to lighten the mood but as you turn and meet his eye you know this isn’t the time for throwaway comments.

“Please don’t leave.” his voice was low and his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“Fili, I…”

“Please don’t leave me. So many times I wished I had the courage to speak to you. I saw the relationship you had with Kili and even my uncle and yet, I found myself tongue-tied around you and unlike myself. Even now I am not making myself clear and I can see you looking at me like…” He rubbed the back of his neck and scrunched his face in frustration. Why could he not find the words? He was going to lose you anyway so he may as well go down fighting. “I love you, Emma. I always have, from the moment you stepped into the Hobbit hole and I always will. Please. Stay. Stay with me.” His eyes were clenched shut so tight that he was unaware that you had moved closer to him and dropped to your knees until he opened his eyes and looked down at you, now a few inches shorter than him. You take his hands in yours and blinking back tears smile softly. Letting go of one hand you reached up and brushed an errant strand of hair from his face and tilt your face towards him slightly. His eyes flit to your lips and unconsciously his tongue slipped out and ran over his bottom lip as he leaned into you. Your eyes closed as your lips met in a soft, gentle kiss that was long overdue.


End file.
